Keep Your Mouth Shut

Hello, my fabulous friends! Happy Saturday! I hope you all are having a fabulous weekend thus far. The weekend means absolutely nothing to me because i literally work ALL weekend… but that’s okay. Monday  i have off and i am coming for you haha. Anyways, today’s blog post is something I’ve thought about writing for a while now (and on several different occasion). And why’s that?

Because often times i find that people do not think before they speak. They do not think before they offer their unwarranted opinion on other people’s bodies or food choices.

Have you ever been eating something and had someone ask you “are you really going to eat that?” or “today must be your cheat day.” 

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have you ever been out somewhere and had someone tell you “you look like you gained weight- you look bigger” or “you look creepy skinny- you looked better before”  ??

UMMM.. NO. Let me just go ahead and stop you right there… LIKE CAN YOU NOT??


Before i go into detail on why you should NEVER comment on another person’s body or food choices, i am going to tell you about two instances where this happened to me.

So one morning i was eating breakfast at work. It was a egg white flatbread from Dunkin Donuts. I was tracking my macros that day so i even opted out of the white cheddar cheese. So it was literally a flatbread and egg whites (and it was delicious). Oh, and i had also gotten ONE tiny jelly filled donut hole to try. So this guy comes over to me and asks what i am eating. I tell him and goes “oh, you’re really going to eat that? you know that’s going to go straight to your gut right?” He goes on to tell me that he’s “just kidding” and that this meal would pretty much be the same when he goes crazy on his cheat day…. LIKE OH OKAY, DON’T RECALL ASKING YOUR OPINION ON MY BREAKFAST OF CHOICE.

Another time that i had received someone’s unwanted opinion was when i was working at Cheesecake Factory. So, there is this guy, that i work with, that is actually really nice and helpful. So we’re doing something on the computer and he looks at me and goes “you look different.” I kinda laugh and say that i washed my hair today- or something along those lines. He then says, “No, you look bigger.. have you started working out?” I say something along the lines like i’ve always worked out and then i think i just walk away or something… idk.

I walked away from the convo and was like okay, i am not going to let that comment ruin my day. I’m sorry, but having someone tell me i look “bigger” i do not consider that a compliment. This was after i started working at CF at 110 lbs. (post competition weight) and had gained about 20 or so lbs, putting me at about 129. Granted this was necessary weight gain, however, it can leave you feeling a little self conscious at times and to have someone tell you that you look “bigger” could definitely be triggering for some people. I consciously made the effort to not let this comment ruin my day, but it definitely hit a nerve.

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So why should you NEVER comment on someone else’s food choices?

Whether someone is eating a salad, eating a cupcake, or eating five cupcakes, commenting on their food eating habits of choice is simply unnecessary. Does it affect you? NO, IT DOESN’T. You do not know what someone else is or has gone through in regards to their health or past dieting history. Has this person suffered from BED, anorexia, orthorexia, or are they currently suffering from an ED? Do they have an unhealthy relationship with food? You don’t know. You never know how a comment can affect someone. How would you feel if you found out that someone threw up in the bathroom, because of a comment you made? Or that someone didn’t eat dinner because of your comment? Whether your comment has ill intentions, or it’s simply just “a joke”, it doesn’t matter- the result is the same. Some people may not be affected by your words but others can be. You never know how someone will take your comment or what internal struggle they are going through. So next time you are thinking about commenting on your child’s, friend’s, co-worker’s, or stranger’s food choices, think twice.

So why should you NEVER comment on someone else’s body?

Whether someone is 10 lbs underweight or 10 lbs over weight, your comment about their physique is unnecessary. We live in a society today where people are constantly under scrutiny about their bodies and how they look. We live in a world where girls, AT A VERY YOUNG AGE, have tried to lose weight when all they should be worried about is playing games, being happy, and living life. Add the pressure from society plus a  random stranger making a loaded comment about how much you weigh can be horribly unsettling and triggering. It can leave people feeling uncomfortable and ashamed about eating in public and leave them feeling bad about themselves. It can leave those individuals who suffer or have suffered with EDs to return to their old, self destructive habits… all because of a comment that you gave without second thought. Even a seemingly innocent comment of “oh you look great, have you lost weight?” can cause damage. Maybe that person is suffering from depression, has started throwing up after eating dinner, or is dealing with something you know nothing about. The person that you are questioning about why they gained weight, could be recovering from an ED, could be happy and healthy living their life.. and your comment makes them second guess their choice. If it’s not your body, do not comment. It doesn’t affect you or how you live your life, and you never know how that comment could affect them


“Should you be eating that? Wow, you can put a lot of food down down can’t you? Should you really 200w-3be eating another cookie? Maybe you should eat a salad instead. You’ve gained weight since last time i saw you. Have you lost weight? You look great!” …

No… Just no. Let’s put a stop to these unwarranted body and food shaming comments. Whether your comment is meant as a harmless joke, a simple observation, or a case of word vomit… let’s think before we speak. The bottom line is if you aren’t eating it and it’s not your body, your opinion and comments are unnecessary. Instead of talking to someone about their bodies or food choices, how about we talk to them about their likes/dislikes, their hobbies, or how their weekend went?

You never know what someone else is going through and in a world where we are free to express your thoughts and opinions openly… sometimes it is better if you just DON’T.

Has anyone ever made an unwanted opinion about your body or your weight? Has anyone ever made a comment to you about what you were eating? How did that make you feel? Have you ever made a comment to someone else that thinking back, maybe you shouldn’t have? 

Thanks so much for reading this post and i really hope as a result we all think a little more before we speak.Please “like” and “share” this post and keep checking back for more, 

Talk soon,

pbandlaurenkelly

 

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6 thoughts on “Keep Your Mouth Shut

  1. jlstanding says:

    “Like can you not” is right!! It is actually kind of sad how relatable I’m sure this post is for so many people. And I’ve been there many times.

    One incident that always stuck with me was actually just watching one girl shame another. We were in Uni and running off sugar and caffeine most days back then. The one gal to the other was like “I can’t believe you’re going to eat TWO chocolate bars!!” – but the part that bothered me most was knowing that it obviously came from her own insecurities. I just wanted to be like girl, drop your judgment crown and meet us back here tomorrow!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Max Laing says:

    I’ve received the “you’ve gotten too skinny” and the “you’ve put on a ton of muscle mass” and “why are you eating THAT” (higher-fat-content-yet-counting-my-macros food) all on the same day. Sometimes I shrug them off. At other times, I hammer back with how much weight I’ve GAINED (when told I’m too skinny and I’m in the middle of a gain phase) or vice versa.

    I also just remembered having someone question HOW HORRIBLY LOW my daily caloric intake must be (in front of others). This person was nearly terrified to find out that my daily caloric intake was TRIPLE of that individual’s. Which triggered that person to have a rebuttal that I eat TOO MUCH and need to cut back. Wait? I thought you just said I was SOOOO SKINNY and needed to EAT MORE???

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sarah says:

    I totally agree with this! People always comment on my food or my body and it freaking pisses me off. And sometimes it really hurts. Personally I was raised to never comment on someone else’s food, especially negatively. But apparently, not every one was taught to do the same…. sigh lol

    Liked by 1 person

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